💡Digital Distraction and Doom scrolling 💡

The phone screen rules

Do you ever look around wanting to find someone to make eye contact with, have a chat or a little human connection but find when you do everyone has their heads down locked into their phones or maybe you are guilty of this too?

This happened the other day, I was at the gym on the static bike when I looked up to see if anyone else was having a tough time or experiencing the pain cave and every single person in my eye line was engrossed in their phone. Surely workout time, is a time where we give ourselves time to disconnect and reconnect to our body?

OK, the gym may not be the best example as everyone may have been deep into their sets, counting the time down till their next one but maybe not, they could have been updating instagram, answering an email, on a dating app or scrolling. Whatever it was there was no chance of a smile or mini interaction. The phone screen made sure of that.

This is not the only example of times where I have tried to communicate with someone but there is no one looking up let alone open for a chat, as the phone screen dominates the attention, it happens on the train, in the street, at work, when I have been sat in coffee shops and the list goes on. This is often tricky and can feel quite isolating sometimes, as I am a talker not a typer and it is harder to connect or try to when there is a phone screen in the way.

However, I am aware with this observation I have been guilty of this myself, many times and it’s not cool. Recently, I found myself scrolling instagram WAY more than usual, jumping on twitter and spending more time glued to my screen. I started getting a daily usage report and it was shockingly high, not to mention incredibly distracting scrolling from one thing to another.

At points, I felt like time had vanished and I had no idea what I had been up to but at the same time, I did, I had been scrolling nothing in particular. It felt like this time spent flicking between information and visuals disappeared at the speed of light and left me feeling incredibly flat, my brain foggy, fuzzy and forgetful and all other words beginning with F, mainly the sweary one.

I had not achieved anything with this time, of course, time doesn’t have to be used to achieve things at all moments but I hadn’t got anything from the time spent scrolling other than a mini headache, not to mention questions such as,

• Should I buy an air fryer?

• Which podcast out of the 20+ which have graced my eyes, should I listen too?

• Do I want to follow ANOTHER artist, photographer, designer, athlete, inspirational quote page?

Oh and let’s not forget a huge sense of overwhelm and digital distraction from what I actually need to be getting on with.

In these moments of high usage, I can definitely note I felt way worse than before scrolling and the thing which is meant to be social really didn’t feel like it but rather lonely and isolating. The thing about being on social media is no matter who you are you can’t help but feel like more of something is needed when actually it is probably WAY less. Anyone else feel like this or have you got your social media usage under control?

Life can look very glossy online and I’m not that glossy, nor do I aspire to be but the way social media works it suckers you in.

It is tricky not to think, how could my hair look sleeker, why I’m not meeting more friends, running more or whatever other thing people are doing A LOT of when you tune in and get a 3 second flicker of their life.

I often have my own moments where my hair looks slick (admittedly not that often!) or I’m doing something fun, exploring, seeing a new City or whatever but choose not to share it or at least not all of it because I do not want or need too but there is pressure to be showing, sharing and documenting good times (and the bad too, as its relatable and ultimately sellable), not for yourself but for everyone to see, it’s become something of a habit to do so, whether it’s the good, bad, inspiring, uninspiring, whack it online, make it into a reel or whatever but share it for the likes. There is even a little part of life which feels like if it isn’t on social media it didn’t happen.

The thing is, when you tune into social media and scrolling you are tuning out of the actual world which exists right now around you and often, in front of your very nose, the connections and conversations which could be happening in realtime and it feels like things are going inward somewhat and people are choosing this over the social element of life, the meet up, the random chat or silly conversation. Personally, this is what life is about surely? I love a random conversation, meeting or even the odd awkward moment.

Don’t get me wrong, social media can be brilliant, used well, fine tuned, limited but more often than not, it's being over consumed. The nature of social media apps is to keep us on there as much as possible and they are very cleverly designed to do that. The conversion for sales on instagram alone is massive and the comparison percentage is another matter!

There are points where I want to go back to not having a smartphone because having one seems to be leaving me a lot less smart and it is taking away one of the brilliant things about life, real life connection, conversation and communication.

Take me back to a time where it didn’t exist, please. I sometimes feel lost in a world where people are swimming in their own agendas, locked into their phone screens with not enough time to look up or have a chat, less interested in the real world and more interested building a following, documenting a moment or losing themselves to silly videos. I became that person for a while and didn’t like it very much, however, I do still enjoy a silly video, who doesn’t?

I need to embrace the fact I prefer sparking up a conversation with someone to see if they have had a good day, what their pet pooch is called, what they are reading right now and the list goes on.

I prefer putting pen to paper.

I like being outside with no phone, walking, running, hiking with people and conversation, not a phone screen.

I like a map, an actual physical map and stopping people in the street for directions. (which I have done many times and some are super lovely and others say, do you not have a phone?)

I enjoy conversations with actual people to catch the breeze, find out something, get a vibe and see if someone has a sense of humour, all way harder virtually.

I want to not be able to access information at my fingertips 24/7, to have to work for it or find the cool restaurant, place, street art, exhibition or whatever it maybe, sometimes without the help of google maps or similar review sites, to be able to make mistakes, take a wrong turn and discover something out of the blue (within reason, of course, not in sketchy neighbourhoods, if I can help it)

So what is the answer? For me, for now, its implementing my own self imposed social media time slots, removing social media apps from my phone, having a chat with someone on the phone (this one is possibly a touch too much nowadays?) even though it often feels like nobody wants to pick up the phone and talk nowadays, spending more time connecting in real time and using the space in between where ordinarily people grab for their phones to read, write, look out the window and chat, only time will tell if it’s possible but I’m willing to give it a whirl, even if it’s just me looking up for the foreseeable.

How do you feel about your own social media usage? all good, necessary for work? find it fun? overwhelming? Spill and tell me your thoughts…

Here is a great podcast on the topic with author Johan Hari Stolen Focus

A documentary on Instgram specifically The Instagram Effect

Retrain your brain to focus Article by Ali Patillo

Rediscovering boredom in the age of the smartphone Article